What Do You Need to Fix to Become Your Natural Self?
As women, we naturally fix things.
We heal, counsel, give life and bring peace where there was little before.
That is part of our natural self. Our heritage of being female.
Yet, we are looked down on as being the 'weaker' or 'inferior' sex.
What do we have to do to prove this isn't the case. To be noticed and loved as equals?
We bend our natural selves to suit others and become someone that we are not.
What do we need to fix in order to be accepted both by others and by ourselves?
In this podcast episode, Gillian Duncan, Clarity Junction host, coach and author addresses the topic of what you need to fix in order to become your natural self once more.
Hello and welcome to the Clarity Junction podcast.
Women, for as long as they have been on this earth, have been known to be creators, life-givers, healers, and counsellors.
Women have natural links to the planet’s energy, and also have the gift of intuition, yet in modern culture, we are forced to abandon this way of being, and instead adopt a more unnatural way of existing.
We are often regarded as the ‘weaker sex’ or less important when compared to our male counterpart.
The strength, skills, and talents that women naturally possess is truly amazing, yet often frowned upon, if not feared, in society.
Due to this thinking, so many women feel that they need to make adjustments to who they naturally are. They feel that there is a need to be fixed.
Today, I wish to encourage all women to start listening and believing in their natural self.
My name is Gillian Duncan, Positive Life and Wellbeing Coach, inspiring women to live the life they truly want, and I am delighted that you are here with me today.
Do you ever feel as though you are always trying to fix something or someone?
Women have always been known to be healers, counsellors, carers, and also more spiritually connected and aligned with the natural world.
Our natural biological cycles tune in with the energy that surrounds us, be that the moon or other females that we are close to.
We are creators and problem solvers.
We bring life into the world.
We can turn the most uninviting room into a welcoming place of comfort and warmth.
We can make it a loving home for our kin.
As women, our minds never stop. We are constantly problem solving. Constantly trying to bring peace to situations that present themselves.
Constantly trying to bring light to the path of others.
We listen. We share. We support. We counsel.
When someone we love is unhappy, we feel it too. Really feel it – as if it were our own trouble and pain.
We are powerful individuals, who, if allowed, either by ourselves or others, can bring peace, hope and the power of love to this planet.
Now, I say, ‘if we are allowed’ for a reason.
You see, from before we are born, females have quite a hard time in this world.
Before we are even born, just like male babies, we are expected to be healthy and happy. Perfect in all ways. That is the desire of our parents.
In many cultures, the birth of a girl is a disappointment to the family. Girls are seen as inferior to boys.
This means that if we actually survive to our birth, and are not aborted, we have to start proving our worth to others from day 1.
As we are growing up, we are expected to be pretty. Beautiful. Attractive. What is seen as beautiful is always in the eyes of the beholder, so before we know it, we are expected to mould our bodies into certain shapes, our hair into the desired styles and our face painted to enhance our features.
It’s not just our looks that need to be worked on and perfected, however. Our mind needs to be cleaver and we need to be educated. Not just in academic subjects, but in all areas of how to keep a home and family. We need to learn to sew, cook, clean, budget, and all that goes with family life.
We have to be all this, and we have to stay modest, not be outspoken and accept lesser treatment, including wages.
By the time we are in our teenage years, we have taken these cultural thoughts and allowed them to take dominant place in our minds.
As women, we are expected to know, do and be so much, and if we do not reach the standards within our culture or society, then we bring shame, discontent and embarrassment to those who have set these high bars. These people tend to be our family and friends.
But, before you start feeling upset towards your loved ones, you must understand that they, too, had these high standards pushed upon them since birth, and know no different.
They are not to blame for asking you to fit into the same mould. They do it out of love and they are only following their own inner beliefs – ones that they learned growing up. In their minds, they were doing the right thing by you.
Women have many high hurdles to jump, and many masks they must wear from the moment they are born.
They are set the challenge to convince everyone that they are not a disappointment. That they are worthy of their place on this earth.
They spend their youth looking up to others, listening, studying, and reshaping their natural self – inside and out.
They jump the hoops and make the grade. They tick the boxes and comply to make others happy. They dismiss any inner voices that they hear and replace them with the scolding voice of shame, disappointment, and doubt.
The free voice of their inner child is bullied into submission, and all the wondrous thoughts and excitement for the world is replaced with fear.
As women it is our nature to fix things. No matter who we are, and what we are told, we have that natural instinct to fix things and make it better.
So, instead of our focus being to fix the concepts surrounding the little worth of women, our inner voice of fear will only allow us to fix ourselves.
Fix ourselves, not into the amazing beings that we were born to be, but the beings that our society wants us to be.
We set to work, constantly trying to find a reason, a solution, a cure as to why we are not this perfect being that we have been told that we should be.
We try to fix our inadequacies.
But what if there was nothing there that you needed to fix?
What if you were never needing fixed in the first place and these inadequacies that you think you have are not real?
When you take a step back, and look at the problems that you are trying to fix, how many of them are there as a result of trying to live up to the expectations of others and society as a whole?
Is your debt caused by society telling you that you need to own a house, a car, a giant TV with subscriptions to channels you never have time to watch and a gym membership that you never use – just to name a few?
Is your health being negatively influenced by the stress of having to work long hours just to make ends meet?
Are your stress levels high because you are working in a job that you dislike or in a relationship that is tearing you apart day by day?
You stay there in these situations because you feel it is expected of you and anything else would bring shame and embarrassment to you and your loved ones. You fear the outcome of changing direction.
You try to fix these financial problems, the health problems, the relationship problems, but you don’t see the bigger picture. You start to think that the problem must be you. You try and fix yourself.
It doesn’t work.
Because you are not needing to be fixed.
Just take a moment to think about that.
There is nothing that you need to fix about yourself. You are perfect as you are. You do not have anything missing, lost or broken. You are whole. You are complete.
You do not need to be fixed, modified or added to.
You just need to find the real woman inside of you. The one that was swept aside for the sake of society and culture. The one that was told she wasn’t good enough, strong enough, capable enough, beautiful enough.
The one the who was made to jump hoops and dance to suit others first.
You are not needing to be fixed. You are whole. There is nothing missing, only a need to rediscover who you are and what your strengths are, as a woman, and believe me, that’s a lot of strength!
Your talents are endless.
We may all be different, but all women have the ability to tap into our natural intuitions and instincts. That’s where you will find the ability to find the real you.
You just need to rediscover how to do this. You need to find that voice of the inner child within you and have a new conversation with her.
Start talking to her. Tell her that all is OK, and that you are now here to listen. Be gentle with her – she has been treated harshly over the years.
With time, you will start to hear her voice return, and when it does, be sure to listen to it. She is wiser than she has been allowed credit for.
She is the voice of your natural inner instinct. She will send you those gut instincts that will tell you when something is good or bad for you. She will help you to stay true to yourself regardless of what others think or expect of you.
Give her more time and notice and she will reward you in return.
So, how do you start this communication? You start by finding the moments of silence in between your thoughts.
Those gaps that are just long enough to pause, to breathe.
You may notice them more first thing in the morning or last thing at night.
In those moments, be calm and still. Once a thought powered by fear or expectation enters your head, do your best to quieten it until you can learn to dismiss it.
Take the power away from these negative, controlling thoughts and start balancing the energy by distributing it out to your natural inner voice.
The more you practice this, and the more you allow your own voice to be heard, the more powerful it will become, and the more in-tune you will become with your natural self. Your true self.
You will accept who you are, as you are. No more trying to jump impossible hoops just to please others. You will start to find peace and harmony in life.
Your vibration will begin to attract more positivity and you will find that your outlook in life has changed.
Being a woman means that you will always have many roles to fill. Your skills and talents will always be needed by others, and this is the natural way of things.
With your inner voice returning, however, you will start to realise that you are not broken or lacking in anything, and you can take back this control in your life, and use the natural gifts that you have inherited from women before you. You can serve who you wish to serve, and in the way that feels right with you.
It’s time to quieten the critic within you, and those who will not let you be who you are designed by nature to be. You have this body, this mind, this soul, this life – it’s yours to be at one with and to embrace the woman you were born onto this earth to be.
You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. You just need to reconnect.
That’s all for this episode.
My aim to reach out and inspire as many women as possible, so I would love it if you could help me by spreading the word!
Remember to hop over to clarityjunction.com where you will find out about our membership for women who want more from life.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now and keep being awesome!
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