What Choice Do You Have?
Do you really have different choices available to you in life?
Sometimes when you are on a particular path, it's hard to see the alternatives that are available to you.
You have a story stuck in your mind and you feel like a slave to it.
You feel that you don't have a choice and that life is just controlling you, rather than the other way around.
In this podcast episode, Gillian Duncan, Clarity Junction host, coach and author shares her own story of a moment in time when she was reminded that she had the control to make the decisions in her life and that there are always choices open to us. She encourages you to realise the same.
Hello and welcome to the Clarity Junction podcast.
Do you ever find that life can really get out of control very quickly and you find yourself on a path that you really don’t want to be on, and you have no idea why you are there or how to change it?
When we experience times like these, we are not living our full lives, but merely going through the story that we have created in our heads.
I was drifting into a situation like this recently until my son reminded me that I had a choice.
So, keep listening as I share this story and how, although we often feel stuck in life, we all have a choice.
My name is Gillian Duncan, Positive Life and Wellbeing Coach, inspiring women to live the life they truly want, and I am delighted that you are here with me today.
Just the other day, I was reminded by my youngest son that I had the power in life to choose my own path.
We were sitting in the garden and it was warm and sunny, and I just wished I could sit there until the sunset that day.
I was on my 10-minute break, however and staying out any longer was just not an option.
As the Clarity Junction platform begins to grow, so does my workload, and any free time that I have seems to be becoming consumed by this wonderful entity I am creating.
Overall, I really enjoy what I do. My soul is behind the mission of bringing resources to women to help them live amazing lives and I love connecting them with other women that can help them do this – either through their own knowledge or their own inspirational stories.
There is no doubt that this brings me so much joy.
On the other hand, I am building a business where everything has to go through me.
I have to decide on everything.
From the platform content to the images, the interviewing to the editing, the meetings to the membership plans. So, basically, everything that you see, read or hear about Clarity Junction – I’m behind it.
Somedays it can, naturally feel a little too much.
Anyway, this was one of those days.
I had course content to complete by a specific deadline and I was having major tech issues.
A job that should have taken 1 day to complete had rolled into 3.
This was having a knock-on effect to my other work and deadlines, so I was working all hours to try keep up with it all and not drop the ball at the same time.
So here I was sitting in the warmth of the sun with my youngest and after my allocated 10 minutes, I lifted my cup of coffee and told him I was away to drink it in my office as I had work to get on with.
He asked why I couldn’t just sit with him a few more minutes and finish my drink outside.
I replied that I couldn’t as I had work to do, but if I had the choice, I would sit there longer and relax a bit more.
To this he told me, very bluntly and to the point, ‘But Mum, you do have a choice’.
I was a bit taken aback when he said this. I went into denial. No, I don’t have a choice, I have so much work that needs done and there are deadlines and I am the only one that can finish the work.
Again, he looked straight at me as said, ‘Yes, but you still have a choice. You can go in now, or you can wait a little longer. We always have choices, no matter what.’
Wow. My 13-year-old son had just verbally slapped some reality back into me.
I did have a choice.
I had lots of choices.
I could grab my coffee and go back to face my monster workload with the same stress that I had left it.
Or, I could just ignore it all and say to hell with the deadlines and just do nothing for the rest of the day.
Or, I could make the compromise of sitting a little longer with my son, drinking coffee and enjoying the fresh air before facing my work nemesis with a little less stress and a clearer mind.
I did have choices. I had the power to choose what I was going to do with the rest of my day.
I was in control – not the circumstances.
I was the one that was able to decide how this story would turn out.
In the end I stayed out longer, and returned to work feeling more refreshed, and you know, the world didn’t stop because I did that, but I sure felt better for it.
My son’s comments really hit home with me.
At the time I was talking to him, I felt that I was being controlled by my workload, rather than me being in control of it.
I felt powerless and manipulated.
I felt stressed and anxious.
I really didn’t feel good at all and I was so blind to see that I was going down a path that I didn’t want to be on and when I did realise it, I felt that I didn’t have the power to leave.
How strange. Of course, I had the power to change my direction. Why was I putting so much pressure on myself? Why did I believe that I had lost control of my own destiny and letting my health suffer for it?
It sounds crazy, right?
Yet we are all guilty of doing this all the time.
We play a story in our heads and get obsessed with it.
We soon believe that there is no other reality than the one we are currently giving our focus to.
We feel stuck, lost and forever going round in an unfulfilling circle that just leaves us more stressed and further from where we want to be.
We all have the power to choose one path over another.
What you choose to do affects your being, your future and it also affects those around you.
It’s so easy to get stuck onto a path that you can’t seem to find the other paths that lead away from it. Our vision becomes so unclear and less focused.
It’s almost as if we develop tunnel vision. All we can do is what we have been doing again and again and again.
This is really detrimental.
I mean, if we are unhappy with a current situation, surely by continuing to repeat it over and over again isn’t going to make it improve.
The only way to make a situation change is to work out what choices you have and choose to take a different path.
Our inability to see the other paths or to put a stop to our current behaviour and habits is due to fear.
Even though we hate our current situation, we become comfortable in it – no matter how awful it may be – we get trapped in a pattern and a promise that it will all get better.
The truth is, however, that it won’t get better until you realise that you need to choose to change it, and then take the action to create the change.
This is hard as you must first find clarity, then courage, and neither of these are as simple as they are to say.
You do have a choice, however.
There is always a choice to be made.
We either believe that we can, or we can’t. We either do, or we don’t. Either we will or we won’t.
The choice is always up to you.
Remember, the story that you have playing in your mind can be changed. It’s not the only story that you can tell yourself.
You are the author and creator of that story, and you have the power to change it.
My example is a simple one. The circumstance felt so real and important, however. I was stuck on a path and was all-consumed by it.
It took a few words by my son to make me realise that I was able to re-write and change that story, just as I had done with so many bigger situations that I have dealt with in life.
I am the author, the narrator and the actor for my life, and therefore I must learn to create and produce a life that is fulfilling and joyful.
I have the power to choose to do that.
If the road that I am on does not fit with what I want for life, then I must choose to change it.
So, how about you?
Are you on the road that you want to be on?
Do you sometimes get sidetracked and end up amongst the mist and fog?
How will you recognize this and get back on track?
Are you ready to see those roads as distractions to you living life to its full potential?
Are you ready to choose another road?
If so, welcome to Clarity Junction.
I look forward to travelling alongside you.
That’s all for this episode.
My aim to reach out and inspire as many women as possible, so I would love it if you could help me by spreading the word!
Remember to hop over to clarityjunction.com where you will find out about our membership for women who want more from life.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now and keep being awesome!
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