The 3 Fundamental Pillars for Living Your Best Life
At Clarity Junction, we believe that there are 3 Fundamental Pillars for living your best life.
Without a balance of these Pillars in your life, you will find yourself in a rut or going round in circles, never achieving your dreams.
In this podcast episode, Clarity Junction host and founder, Gillian Duncan, explains what these Pillars are and why it's important to have strength in each of these Pillars in order to have a balanced, focused and happy life.
Take the 3 Pillar Quiz
Find out which Pillar is your weakest and where you need to start focusing your energy on straight away in order to regain balance in your life.
Hello and welcome to the Clarity Junction podcast.
We all want to have the best and fullest life we can possibly have.
We all want to be happy and to feel loved.
We also want to have fantastic experiences and be able to do and have what we desire.
In a nutshell, we want it all. We want to live our best life.
So many of us, however, never seem to achieve this.
We start out strong, but after a few negative knock backs, overwhelm and frustration, we start to slow down, lose faith, and eventually give up, accepting our current situation as the best we can do.
We accept this our fate and get on with living life the best we can, but never really feeling that true happiness or contentment - feeling that something is missing from our lives and eventually resenting others who seem to ‘have it all’.
I think that you will agree with me that this is no way to live the precious life that you have been blessed with.
This is why I have decided to share with you my 3 Fundamental Pillars that are the back bone of the Clarity Junction platform, and why this structure is necessary to have in place in order for you to live and amazing, balanced, happy life – without the negativity.
So, keep listening to discover more on the importance of these 3 Pillars.
My name is Gillian Duncan, Positive Life and Wellbeing Coach, inspiring women to live the life they truly want, and I am delighted that you are here with me today.
The way you live your life is built around 3 fundamental aspects, or pillars as I like to call them.
These pillars interlink with each other, and a weakness in one will result in an off-set imbalanced life.
In other words, without equal strength in all three pillars, you cannot successfully live your best life, no matter how hard you try to.
The purpose of your life is to be happy. No matter what you do with your life, your desired outcome is to be happy.
You may think that your goal in life is to be rich, famous or never needing to work another day, however, all these dreams that you have are really there because you think that these things will make you happy.
Happiness is the goal.
The problem with life is that it’s not that simple or straight forward.
Life is full of so many potential opportunities, so many options, that often when we achieve one thing, or even on the path towards achieving it, our desires change and we end up having a new goal that we think will make us happy.
We soon get stuck in the thought process of, “When I achieve this, then I will be happy”.
We constantly think this way, putting all our happiness on hold until we get there. Then one of two things happen. We either never achieve this desired outcome, or we get it, but find it doesn’t make us happy, and we are soon on the next happiness quest.
Happiness doesn’t work like that, and if you are still searching for happiness, then you will know how hard it seems to be to find.
When I speak to people about what they think will make them happy, they tend to have the same responses. More money. More time. Better health. These also seem to be interlinked. So, the belief runs something like, “If I had more money, then I will be able to have more time and be able to focus more on my health or pay for better health care”.
While that may actually seem a reasonable belief, it’s more likely that you will waste a lot of your given time on this earth while you wait for the day that you have more money in order for you to spend your days as you wish. Certainly, if you do not stop to look after your health right now, then your days may be more challenging and less happy in the future.
Let me just put this out there.
Your life is happening right NOW.
It doesn’t start in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. It has already started, and your days are getting less as each one passes.
There is no time to be thinking ‘when…, then…’. Your life is happening right here, right now, and if happiness is the purpose to life, then why are you not feeling it already?
Well, while I can’t answer that question specifically for you without having a personal coaching call with you, I can guess it’s because you are lacking strength in one or more of the 3 fundamental pillars of life.
So, what are these 3 Pillars that I am talking about?
Well, they are Goal Achieving, Personal Development and Health and Wellness.
These 3 Pillars are key to achieving happiness and for you to be able to live your best life.
Let’s look at each one individually, starting with Health and Wellness.
As you know, if you don’t have your health, life becomes very hard to live. You can’t be there in your fullest form if you are suffering from illness, injury, pain, stress, anxiety and any physical or mental upset.
When you are struggling with your health, your focus and energy becomes centred around coping with pain and making sure you are able to function enough, just to get you through each day.
Life is there, passing each day, but you have been set back and can’t seem to move forwards.
You start thinking, “Once I feel better, I will be happy”.
But why are you waiting? Why are you waiting to be healed? Why can’t you continue to live your life with what you have, right now?
Don’t you realise that happiness can be found in all situations and that by making your health a reason for denying happiness can also be stalling your path towards healing?
This may sound a little harsh, but I have been there, several times, and even when I have been extremely poorly, I have still managed to make the most of the experience. I won’t go into this in detail just now and get side-tracked. Just know that it is possible to find happiness even when all seems bleak.
Your energy is influenced by your thoughts, and that includes the energy that is there to help you get back on your feet again.
Having poor health shouldn’t be a reason not to dream or have goals in life. In fact, you should focus more on these dreams to help your health.
If you do not have current health issues, and feel that this Pillar is not applicable to you, then I would urge you to realise that, without taking time to regularly check in with aspects such as weight, exercise, nutrition and stress levels, then you will be allowing your Health and Wellness Pillar to weaken through neglect.
If you are blessed with good health, then make the most of it! Ensure that you keep living as healthy a life as possible by giving it regular focus and attention. As I mentioned, if you don’t have your health, life becomes very hard to live.
The next Pillar I would like to introduce is that of Personal Development. So, what do I mean when I talk about the topic of Personal Development? Well, Personal Development, to me, includes anything that will make you stronger, all round, as a person.
This really means that you need to keep learning.
I’m not just talking about academically learning, as you would at school, although this is an important area, particularly if you want to progress in your career. I am also talking about learning life-skills in all areas.
These areas include how to manage your money, how to cook a nutritious meal, how to stand up and let your voice be heard in the best way, and so on.
Developing yourself personally, means crafting yourself into the best version that you can be. This is not for anyone else’s wants, needs or desires – this is solely for you.
If you wish to learn a new skill, then make sure you are learning it for your own needs and desires and not to impress or make anyone else happy.
The Pillar of Self Development also includes developing your spiritual site. Getting to know who you really are is extremely important. Your thoughts and beliefs make you the individual that you are.
Never feel the need to apologise or feel ashamed of this. You do not need to believe the same as others, just because you are told to.
You have your own mind and beliefs and are entitled to your own thoughts, even if they don’t match those of your family or friends.
Being happy also means being happy in yourself.
Personal development, for me, is developing yourself into that person that you are proud of being and never ashamed of.
By keeping your Personal Development Pillar strong, you are creating a confident, content, knowledgeable and worldly character, this is sure to open more doors of opportunity in your life.
The third Pillar is Goal Achieving. This is often the hardest Pillar to keep strong.
This Pillar interlinks strongly with the other two and without your health or a keen interest in personal development, you are unlikely to achieve your goals.
Goal Achieving is a hurdle too far for many, and they settle for second best. They give up on pursuing their dreams and ultimately their quest for happiness and living their life to the fullest.
The Goal Achieving journey can be stopped dead in its tracks the minute that you fail something, or someone makes a negative comment about your goals. It’s as easy as that.
This is because, your dreams are so personal to you and you invest a lot of emotion in them.
You can see this in people who achieve their goals in life. They face huge challenges along the way, and they still refuse to give up. Once they achieve it, you may even see them shed a tear! Why cry? Well, they are filled with emotion that is brimming to the surface. They are filled with pride and joy, but also of relief.
You see, in order to reach your goal, what ever that may be, you have to relearn habits. You often have to sacrifice time, money and more energy than you ever thought possible. You may also upset others as you stand up and challenge their beliefs.
You have to take the ups and the downs, and with every down keep having enough faith to pick yourself back up and keep going.
It is all worth it, however.
As I mentioned before, your life is here to be lived to the fullest, and there is no reason why you cannot achieve this, regardless of your starting point.
I found that these 3 Pillars are necessary to make you understand that you need certain fundamental components in order to live that best life you dream of.
With an imbalance of these Pillars, it’s likely that you will either keep going round in circles or get stuck in a big deep rut and give up seeking your joy in life.
This is why I based all the content of Clarity Junction around my ‘3 Pillar’ concept.
By having information, support and advice on different aspects that make up these Pillars, you are less likely to get stuck and more likely to face your challenges and become stronger.
By building up these 3 Pillars you are creating a solid foundation for you mind, your body and your soul. You are ensuring that every aspect of your life is attended to and no area neglected.
As I mentioned, an imbalance in one of the Pillars, leads to an imbalance in life overall, and you will start to notice this as life starts to become less joyful and more stagnant.
So, how do you start re-balancing these Pillars, and how do you know where to start?
Well, firstly, you need to be prepared to take a moment and look at your current lifestyle and be prepared to start setting time aside to focus solely on the Pillars, one by one.
In our modern way of living, many of us feel overwhelmed and that there are not enough hours or energy, in the day.
This is an adopted form of reality that you have decided to embrace.
Everyone has the same amount of hours in the day, and it’s all about how you balance those hours and what you do with them that determines if you become overwhelmed or lack energy.
These are your hours, and when all is said and done, it is your choice what you do with them.
Again, I won’t go into this aspect of time management at the moment so that we can stay on topic.
Just accept that what we do in life – our actions, our thoughts – are our own choice and we have the ability to make different decisions to present different outcomes.
Also, once you start working on balancing your Pillars, you will also start to find that the way you organise your life will also start to change, and things will start working in your favour. You will naturally make them work for you as your mindset starts to shift.
To begin with, you need to set aside time each day or each week, to focus on each of the Pillars.
For example, you could fit in 30 minutes a day to prepare healthy food, 30 minutes to read and 30 minutes to work on your goal, or to track your progress.
Another day you could work on your goal for 15 minutes, spend 15 minutes listening to a podcast, and an hour exercising.
You may prefer to block out days where you just focus on one Pillar at a time.
For example, you may book yourself into a health spa for the day or spend the day batch cooking healthy meals for the week ahead.
You may spend a day studying or attending a workshop.
Another day may be spent working solely on achieving your dream goal.
It’s not about when you attend to the Pillars, the important aspect is that you make sure that no Pillar is neglected and that you ensure you spend time regularly on each one.
By separating out your tasks into these 3 Pillars, you can then identify the areas you focus on the most and those you focus on the least.
If you spend a lot of time focusing on tracking your goal, but less time learning how to get there, then you will become stuck and never achieve it.
Likewise, if you spend all your time learning, but never actually set a goal, then you will still be in the same place as you are right now, with nowhere to go.
If your goal is to lose weight, you won’t budge an inch unless you learn the underlying reason as to why you have acquired the weight in the first place, set a goal for yourself, and focus more on your overall health – not just diet and exercise.
Although these Pillars are somewhat connected, make sure that you avoid multitasking.
It’s fine to listen to an informative podcast when you are out walking, but you won’t be giving it your full attention. If you can give a task your full attention, you will accomplish it with more understanding and within a shorter time.
As I mentioned, all the Pillars are interlinked and all need to be worked on for you to begin to gain traction towards living your best life.
That said, sometimes you need to work a little harder on one Pillar over the others. When you start to look at your life, you will find that there is at least one strong Pillar, and one that is a lot weaker.
For example, you know what your goal is and you are taking time to work on it, learning how to get there, but you are focusing on it so much that you have stopped your regular exercise routine.
So, how do you know where to start?
If you stop, take a quiet moment to yourself and ask yourself that question, you will tend to know, deep down, what you have been neglecting.
You will hear your inner voice saying ‘I should learn how to pay off my loan’, or ‘I should take at least 30 minutes to walk each day’, or ‘I should be planning for my retirement’. These little ‘should’ voices are ones that often indicate that things that are holding you back from success.
They are usually the ones that are harder to take action on. They might just be the ones that push you out of your comfort zone.
So, my advice is to find a quiet place to sit with your notebook and pen, close your eyes, focus on your breathing and ask your heart what it really needs from you.
Write down your answers, then look to see which Pillar these needs come under.
You can do this exercise regularly to make sure you are connected to your inner needs.
If you are not able to meditate on this, or are still unsure of where to start, then you can take the 3 Pillar quiz on the Clarity Junction website.
In this quiz you will be asked a short number of questions which will provide a starting point for you to realise your weakest Pillar, and more advice on how you can work on making this Pillar stronger, helping you take the next action step towards living your best life.
You can find this quiz at clarityjunction.com/3pillarquiz
That’s all for this episode.
My aim to reach out and inspire as many women as possible, so I would love it if you could help me by spreading the word!
Remember to hop over to clarityjunction.com where you will find out about our membership for women who want more from life.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now and keep being awesome!
Take the 3 Pillar Quiz
Find out which Pillar is your weakest and where you need to start focusing your energy on straight away in order to regain balance in your life.
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